


Mary's Story

by GoosewithaNuke, Holtzmann_lover



Category: Office Christmas Party (2016)
Genre: Birds, Coming Out, F/F, FIGURING OUT YOUR SEXUALITY, Figuring Out Who You Are, bird condos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 21:30:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20731070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoosewithaNuke/pseuds/GoosewithaNuke, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holtzmann_lover/pseuds/Holtzmann_lover
Summary: Mary starts to get feelings for another girl. What happens now?





	1. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary gets feelings she's never had before.

Mary was seething with anger. Meghan has worn her shirt in a very inappropriate manner for the third time this week. Mary stared at the other woman’s boobs in annoyance. This was not right. An HR nightmare. Mary stormed over to Meghan. 

“Meghan!” She said a little too loudly. 

The rest of the office looked up at the loud sound. Then they realised it was just Mary telling Meghan off once again and they got back to work. 

Mary tried to lower her voice. “You need to fix your shirt.”

Meghan looked down at it in confusion. She knew it wasn’t the most appropriate but Mary seemed to always let it slide somehow. But every so often she seemed to have a major problem with it. Meghan noticed Mary staring at her chest with a frown. She raised her eyebrows,  _ is that what this was? _

Jeremy was quick to jump to Meghan’s defense. Mary and Jeremy had hooked up a couple times but realized that they didn’t work well together. 

“Why do you keep mentioning how she wears her shirts? Are you into that or something?” Jeremy challenged and Mary struggled for a second to find a good answer. 

She tore her eyes away from Meghan’s boobs and her brain started working again, “It’s against office code, Jeremy,” she answered, “it’s borderline sexual harassment.”

“I think the way you’re staring at her chest is actual sexual harassment,” Jeremy pointed out. 

Mary tugged uncomfortably at the neck of her turtleneck sweater (she’d been feeling a little frisky this morning so she’d chosen her sexiest outfit).  _ What was he implying? _

She wanted to walk away and leave the conversation but she felt for some reason that that would draw attention to something she didn’t want to address. 

“Yeah, Mary. Maybe I’m feeling uncomfortable with the way you’re looking at me,” Meghan added. She didn’t really feel uncomfortable but she liked to challenge Mary as well. 

Mary couldn’t help but blush. She looked down for just a second to pull herself together. 

“Fix your shirt before I write you up,” She told them and walked away. 

Mary kept to herself for the rest of the work day. For all she knew, the office could be in complete disarray with violations everywhere. But she didn’t want to interact with anybody. She felt weird. Different. 

There was a knock on her cubicle wall. Mary reluctantly looked up. 

There stood Meghan. She had a coy smile on her face. She was up to something. She had some thoughts about the argument of that morning and she wanted to put it to the test. 

“I fixed my shirt,” she said in a low voice. 

Mary had noticed. It was unbuttoned even further and Meghan’s bra was clearly visible. It was a flimsy little thing that did nothing but accentuate Meghan’s boobs. Mary gulped. 

“You know I’m going to have to write you up for this,” Mary said. The pen that she was holding fell out of her hand and her mouth went dry. It was suddenly really hot in the office and she couldn’t figure out why. 

“I know,” Meghan responded with a smirk on her face. Now it was clear to Mary that she was just trying to mess with her. 

At that moment, Nate walked by and stopped in his tracks when he saw Meghan’s shirt. 

“Woah, I appreciate the gesture, Meghan, but I have a girlfriend.” He turned to Mary. “I have a girlfriend.”

“I’m giving you three seconds or I’m writing you up,” said Mary shakily. 

Meghan’s hands went to her shirt and Mary sighed in relief. Until Meghan undid another button. 

Mary stood up and took a challenging step closer to Megan.

“I’m warning you, Meghan, this is inappropriate office etiquette,” said Mary. 

Meghan stepped closer too, “and I think I should be able to wear my clothes how I want.”

Mary breathed heavily. Their lips were so close. It would be so easy to kiss her right now. Mary stared at the other woman’s soft lips and felt a shiver of excitement run through her. She took a step back.  _ What the hell?  _ What was she thinking? She was a heterosexual. Why did she want to kiss another woman? 

Meghan looked proud of herself. She did up the buttons as Mary requested, then she left. 

Mary left early that day. Everything was confusing and she hated it. When she was a young girl, all she thought about was boys. As she became an adult, she still only thought about guys. This was new and it terrified her and excited her at the same time. What did this mean? Maybe she just wanted to have boobs like that. She looked down at herself. No, she was pretty happy with what she had. Could she really be gay? Wasn’t she old enough to have figured this all out by now?

She needed to talk to someone about this. She didn’t really have anyone. Except her birds. 

Mary ate her dinner in silence and gave the birds their food. She stopped at Charlie’s bird condo and gently petted him with two of her fingers. Charlie was her favorite out of them and she took pride in the fact that he knew the Jurassic Park theme song by just hearing it once. 

Charlie seemed grateful for the extra pets and nuzzled his head against her finger. Mary really didn’t know what to do. She knew she had two options. She could ignore the feelings or she could deal with them. 

She looked sadly at Charlie and smiled, watching him eat his food. 

“Are you happy, Charles?” Mary asked, using his formal name. 

Charlie cooed and put some more fresh broccoli in his mouth. Mary watched him, trying to find some meaning in his wise words. Nothing came to her. 

Charlie finished his home cooked meal and went to observe himself in his little mirror. He thought he looked pretty fine. 

“Do boy birds like boy birds and girl birds like girl birds?” Mary asked softly. 

Charlie bobbed and Mary took it as a nod. 

“Would you care if I was gay?” Mary asked, almost too softly to be heard. 

Charlie didn’t acknowledge her. Mary sighed. It felt weird to even ask that out loud. 

She felt fake. Surely if she was gay, she’d know by now. Wouldn’t she? She was making it up right? She’d been with men before. She’d definitely had fun with them. But she’s never been with a woman. It hadn’t even occurred to her that she could be. Of course, she knew other women dated women. It just never occurred to her that  _ she  _ could. Why was she even questioning this? She wasn’t a lesbian, she enjoyed being with men. She was being ridiculous. And why was she getting so upset about this? Charlie started humming to himself and Mary realised that she’d lost his attention. 

She stood up, maybe she just needed to take a walk to clear her head. 

As she left the room, Charlie called out to her, “Bye!” 

Mary stopped suddenly in the doorway. Bi. Was she bi? Now  _ that _ would explain a few things. 

Mary sat back down with Charlie and opened the door to his condo. He shuffled his way over to her and hopped out of the condo and onto her shoulder. 

“Do you think I’m bi?” Mary asked. 

“Bi,” parroted Charlie. 

_ Well,  _ thought Mary,  _ if Charlie agrees, maybe I am.  _

She thought back, trying to remember. She remembered all of her crushes on boys. She’d noticed those. They were the ones she’d expected. But girls. Had she had crushes on girls, or was this her first one?

And, was whatever she was feeling toward Meghan purely sexual, since she couldn’t stop staring at her boobs. But maybe if she looked at Meghan another way, she could feel an emotional attraction to her too.

“Charlieeee,” moaned Mary, “you’re not being very helpful with this.” 

Charlie fluffed his feathers and Mary sneezed. 

“You’re going back in your condo if you’re not going to help,” said Mary. 

Charlie fluffed his feathers again and Mary gently put him back in his condo. She felt stressed about this. When she was stressed about something at work, she got the task done right away so she could get it off her shoulders. She wanted to do that now. Figure out how she identified and move on.

How was she supposed to do that? Should she get an app and go on a date with a woman? Should she watch porn? She shuddered at that idea. Maybe not. Should she ask Meghan out? No. That would violate the workplace rules. Definitely not that one. She just didn’t know. 

Mary looked at the time on her stove and was surprised that it was already nine in the evening. Maybe she should just have an early night. She had a stressful day and just wanted it to be over. Maybe tomorrow everything would be back to normal. She changed into her robe and brushed her teeth and hair before crawling under the covers.

Her dreams were no easier that night. Her coworkers, especially Meghan, filled her dreams. It made her uneasy and she woke up several times throughout the night.

Her brain just refused to turn off. Who was she? She just wasn’t sure anymore. Was she straight? Was she bi? She felt a sadness wash over her as she questioned everything that she’d ever known. A warm tear ran down her cheek before she even knew she was crying. She let out a little huff as she tried to hold back the rest. It was to no avail. She began sobbing quietly to herself. One of her bedroom birds cooed gently at her. Mary appreciated the comfort but it still didn’t make this any easier. 

She didn’t know what to do now. Even if she was bi, what would she do? Should she tell someone or should she keep it in? Birds only helped so much, no matter how much she loved them and they loved her. They didn’t understand the feelings she was feeling.

And how much would her life change if she was bi? A lot? Not at all? Would she still be the same carefree HR woman that she’d always been or would she be different? If her coworkers found out, how would  _ they  _ react?

And did any of it matter? What if she only dated men? Then it wouldn’t matter right? Mary shook her head. Of course it mattered. It was her. She needed to know who she was. 

So, who was she?


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary wonders if Meghan is into women.

Mary sat in her cubicle. She was printing out a notice to hand out to the staff about a new regulation that she’d just put it place. She smiled at the tiny sticker with the bi pride flag that she’d stuck on her printer. It was small and no one else could see it. But it made her happy to have it there. She was pretty proud. It’d taken a while to accept, but yes, she was proud. 

Meghan had still messed with her a little, but not to the point where she was sweating or biting her lip trying to come up with what to say. She had also noticed that she had been checking out more women lately. Like at a restaurant or at the library. She hadn’t gone out on any dates yet though and if she was being honest, she really wanted to.

She often found herself staring at other women’s lips and wondering what they would feel like to kiss. So, she wondered if she should start actively looking for a woman to date. It’d been a while since she’d been on a date with anyone at all. 

She tried going out with another lady in her HR Facebook group, but it didn’t work out. It turned out that lady just wanted it to be sexual and while that was fine, she wanted more. She wanted to know what it was like to share a laugh with another woman or cuddle with another woman or share secrets that she wouldn’t tell anyone else. She knew it would be different to dating guys and she wanted to know everything about it.

The printer whirred as it finished its job. Mary blinked out of her daze. She took the sheets of paper from the tray and busied herself with handing them out around the office. Most people threw away the paper after Mary passed it out. It made Mary a little upset because she felt disrespected.

Meghan took the paper from her when she passed it. Their fingers touched and Mary felt a shiver run through her. Was she attracted to Meghan?  _ Meghan?! _ Meghan actually read the paper and placed it on her desk respectfully. Mary felt warm fuzzy feelings in her head. She might be into Meghan. 

She’d been lingering too long at Meghan’s cubicle so she quickly went on her way to get her next notice thrown in the bin by the next employee. She had a list of things she needed to do at work and at home. She needed to pay rent, get food for her birds, and she had a date with her washing machine. She couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to go on a date with Meghan. Part of her wanted to ask Meghan out but her brain told her no. It would be inappropriate since they worked together. Besides, she didn’t even know if Meghan was attracted to women.

Maybe she needed to find that out first. So, how does one find out if a woman is attracted to other women? Should she google it? If she did, it would have to be when she got home. She couldn’t google personal stuff on the work computer. That would violate company policy. 

Mary tried to concentrate on her work but she kept glancing over her shoulder, hoping to catch a glimpse of Meghan. Finally she couldn’t take it anymore, so at lunchtime she whipped out her phone and turned the data on to google what she needed to know. She clicked on the third website listed when she typed in  _ How to know if a girl is gay. _

_ Short nails _

_ Undercuts _

_ The Quiff Hairstyle _

_ Pride Paraphernalia  _

_ Menswear _

_ Bowties _

_ Stereotypical gay interests _

_ Body modifications _

_ Deeper speaking voice _

_ Prolonged eye contact _

While Meghan didn’t fit everything on the list, she did fit some. Her nails were short. Meghan did have a couple tattoos which Mary had tried to get her to cover up in the past but it was no use. But what really got Mary was prolonged eye contact. Even a few months ago when Meghan teased her by undoing her shirt buttons, she never broke eye contact. Why would she make so much eye contact if she wasn’t at least interested a little?

She figured she could read more lists later. She really needed to get back to her desk to finish her work and she really needed to use the restroom. She threw away her trash and decided to stop at the restroom on the way back. 

She did her business in the stall and began washing her hands when two ladies walked in. It was clear that they just came in the bathroom to gossip so they wouldn’t disturb the office. It annoyed Mary to say the least. This wasn’t high school. This was an office full of grown employees.

“Did you hear about Meghan?” One with blonde hair asked.

One with red hair responded, “No, what about her?”

The first girl grabbed out a tube of lipstick and began reapplying. “She has a new boyfriend. He’s so trashy. She deserves so much better.”

But Mary wasn’t listening anymore. She felt her heart drop. Had she read all the signs wrong? She really thought that Meghan at least had some feelings for her. She gave the ladies a polite smile and exited the bathroom back to go back to her desk. But she couldn’t focus. The words were blurred on the page as her mind wandered. She couldn’t believe she let herself think of a coworker like that. It was wrong and inappropriate. She shook her head. She needed some air before her anxiety got the best of her.

She stopped by Clay’s office and quickly let him know she was leaving early. She thought it was the right thing to do because Clay was her boss after all. Clay waved her off as he was talking on the phone to someone about the playoffs.

She hurried to her car, turned it on and drove off to the pet store. If she couldn’t be happy, at least her birds could be.

She walked into the pet store and instantly felt a little bit better. The smell of straw and bird feces brought her comfort. 

She wandered through the bird aisle and looked at toys and decorations that her birds might like for their condos. 

She saw a nice mirror that her cockatiel, Edgar, might like. She reached for it. 

Her hand bumped another woman’s, who was also reaching for the same mirror. 

It was the last mirror and Mary wanted it. She was the kind of woman who started fights during Black Friday sales. Edgar needed this mirror and she was in a bad mood. She was ready to put up a fight. 

She turned to face the other woman. Her whole world stopped. She was suddenly looking at the most beautiful thing in the world. Even more beautiful than Charlie. This woman was a wonder. Mary was suddenly acutely aware of everything. She could feel goosebumps on her skin as she stared, utterly speechless at this marvel of a woman. 

“Oh I’m sorry, you can have it.” The lady blushed and yanked her hand back. “My bird already has one. I was just looking.”

Mary didn’t know what to do. She was ready to put up a fight and now she couldn’t because this lady was allowing her to have the mirror. 

Mary stared at the mirror for a second. “You can have it.”

“Really, it’s okay. Crackers doesn’t need a new mirror. I really was just looking,” The woman explained and Mary looked grateful at the mirror before putting it in the basket she picked up when she came in. 

“How many birds do you have?” The woman asked her. 

“Six.”

“I have one. I’m writing all the time and Crackers always likes to talk to me. It would be too stressful to have more,” The lady told her. 

“Um, what do you write?” Mary asked. She was nervous about having a conversation with this lady. She was very pretty and Mary was afraid of messing it up.

“I’m an author.”

“Oh, professionally?” Mary asked. 

“Yes, I wrote a few novels back in the day, but now I just write the bird advice column in  _ Bird Enthusiasts Weekly _ ,” said the woman. 

Mary nearly passed out, she loved that column, “I love that column!”

The woman smiled, “I’m Lauren by the way,” she held out a hand. 

Mary took it, shaking it and felt that electric connection again, “Mary.”


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary goes on a date.

“Nice to meet you.” Mary’s voice shook a little as she spoke and she mentally kicked herself. She was a grown woman. Everything was fine, Lauren was smiling at her. Things were going okay.

“Nice to meet you too,” Lauren said. Mary thought she was very cool.

Lauren chuckled a little. 

“What?” Mary asked, wondering if she was being laughed at. 

“You’re blushing,” pointed out Lauren, which only made Mary turn redder. 

“Sorry, it’s the dickey. I knitted it myself, but it’s a little warm for this store,” said Mary in excuse. 

Lauren smiled at her, “You made that? Cute.”

Mary smiled shyly. 

“I have a meeting to get to,” Lauren informed her. “But it was nice meeting you.”

Mary gave a smile and Lauren smiled back before turning on her heel and walking away. Mary thought she was absolutely gorgeous and wanted to get to know her. Her smile, her laugh, her voice. Everything about Lauren so far made Mary wanting her to be much more than a stranger. But she was walking away. Mary had to act fast.

“Wait!” Mary shouted a little too loud.

Lauren turned back around, “Yes?”

Mary did a little run with her arms at her sides to get closer to Lauren again, not wanting to shout across the store (even though she just had). 

“This might be a little,” she pulled a face, not knowing what it was, “I mean, I don’t even know if you’re into ah...but um… would you want to go out with me some time?” She rushed out the question. 

Lauren grinned, “Definitely,” she pulled out her phone and passed it to Mary, “Pop your number in there, I’ll call you.” 

Mary beamed and typed in her number. She triple checked the digits to make sure they were correct before handing the phone back. 

“See you soon,” said Lauren with a smile. She left the store. 

Mary went up to the counter to pay for her items. As she was paying, her phone beeped. She pulled it out and read the text. 

_ You’re pretty cute. Can’t wait for our date.  _

It was from Lauren. 

Mary had a bashful expression on her face as she took the bag from the employee and walked to her minivan. She climbed in, putting the bag in the passenger seat and drove home, wanting to tell her birds about the girl she met.

  
  


* * *

Mary sat at the table she’d reserved, waiting for Lauren to show up. She wasn’t late or anything. Mary was just incredibly early. She was still anxious that Lauren wasn’t going to show. It was her first date in a while, she wanted it to go smoothly. Plus she  _ really _ liked Lauren. 

Lauren entered the restaurant and looked around, looking slightly unsure of herself until she spotted Mary. Mary waved and then berated herself for waving like a dork. But Lauren smiled and waved back so Mary guessed it was okay. 

Lauren sat down at the table, “You’re early.”

“You’re early,” countered Mary. 

“I always try to be a little early for things,” said Lauren. 

“Me too,” smiled Mary. 

Mary checked out Lauren for a minute. Lauren was wearing a nice pair of pants with a camisole underneath a cardigan. She had the same glasses on at the pet store which were square framed. Her hair was in the neatest bun Mary had ever seen and she had light makeup on. Mary herself was wearing another sweater that looked to be too hot in this weather. She’d decided to let herself relax a little and wear jeans. She rarely let herself wear jeans as she thought it was a little too casual for her. 

Lauren picked up a menu and perused it for a moment. Glancing every so often at Mary with a smile. Mary smiled back. 

A waiter came and took their orders. Then they were left alone to chat for a while as they waited. 

“So um,” they both said at the same time. Then they both laughed. 

“You go first,” said Lauren, “what were you going to say?”

“Oh, just umm, you look really beautiful,” said Mary bashfully. 

Lauren smiled, “So do you,” she said, then she paused, “actually, the word I would like to use is  _ hot _ , but I wasn’t sure if that was okay on a first date.”

Mary blushed and ducked her head a little, feeling incredibly flattered. 

“My birds helped me pick my outfit,” said Mary, not realizing that it was a weird thing to say. 

“I love that,” said Lauren, “I love hearing about other people’s birds.”

Mary grinned, because if there was one thing she was good at, it was talking about her birds. 

“Tell me about yourself,” Lauren prompted, taking a sip of her water.

Mary was never good at talking about herself but if Lauren wanted to know, then she was going to try.

“I had a normal life up until high school. I went to boarding school when I was a freshman.

I came back after graduating high school and I went to college and now I work for Zenotech.” Mary wanted to bite her nails but knew not to. It wasn’t very flattering on a first date. “You?”

Lauren smiled, watching Mary. “I was pretty nerdy throughout my childhood. I still am. I studied in all my free time. My dad died when I was fifteen and I studied even harder after that to distract myself. Anyways, I published a few books in my early twenties and now I’m taking a break from that to just see where life goes.”

Mary thought Lauren was the most interesting person ever.

And luckily for her, Lauren thought the same thing. Mary had worn her lucky socks, so maybe that’s why things were going so well. Or maybe they were just hitting it off. 

The waiter came and poured them the wine that they’d ordered. 

“Cheers,” said Lauren, she raised her glass. 

“Cheers,” Mary responded. They tapped their wine glasses together. Cautiously, in case they smashed. 

They both sipped. Mary felt the wine go straight to her head and knew she had to take it slow tonight. 

Their food arrived shortly after that. 

“Can you pass the pepper?” Mary asked. Her potatoes needed a little more kick. 

“Sure,” Lauren took the pepper from her side of the table and instead of passing it to Mary, she put the pepper on Mary’s potatoes herself. Mary watched the other woman’s hands. There was something almost sensual about watching her twist the pepper from the shaker onto her potatoes. 

“Thank you,” said Mary once Lauren was done, her voice was slightly lower and caught a little in her throat.

Lauren grinned, “Of course.”

The rest of the dinner went by with a breeze and it was full of laughter. Mary had to cover her mouth so she didn’t laugh too hard at Lauren’s jokes. That would be embarrassing. However, Lauren seemed to be glad that Mary thought her jokes were funny. Mary wondered if she was one of the few people that thought she was funny.

They got a little more carefree as the evening progressed. Whether it was the wine or just that they were getting more comfortable with each other was undecided. But they were both having a good time. They moved closer to each other at the table. Their knees touched and even that felt intimate to Mary. 

Lauren listened as Mary listed off her birds and all their individual traits and illnesses. She was fascinated. 

“Edgar poops a little more than usual but it’s okay. Wait, forget I said that.” Mary blushed at the words that came out of her mouth, but Lauren didn’t seem to mind. She smiled and waited for Mary to continue.

“What about your bird?” She asked when she was done talking.

Lauren carefully wiped her mouth on a napkin. “Crackers is a shy bird. He talks to me, but not others. I think he’s a little like me when I was growing up.”

Mary wanted to hear more about that, but decided not to push on the subject.

“Iggy is probably my shyest son,” said Mary, “he’s a rescue parrot. I’ve only had him for a few months. He’s doing very well adjusting to living with my other birds. Of course, they all have their own condos, so that helps. He gets his own space,” said Mary. 

“You call them condos?” Lauren asked. 

Mary nodded, “That’s what they are.”

“I get it,” said Lauren, “I just got excited cuz that’s what I call them too!”

Mary beamed, “You do!?”

“Yes!” 

“Wow, I’ve never met anyone else who did,” said Mary. 

“I’d love to see them some time,” said Lauren. 

Mary downed the last of her wine, “Why don’t you come over tonight for coffee, I’ll give you a tour.”

Lauren smiled a little shyly, “I’d love that.”

Then Mary realised what the invitation sounded like, not that she was opposed to the idea at all. 

When the check came, both women reached for the bill at the same time, their hands brushing.

“We keep thinking alike,” Lauren said, referring to the pet store when they first met. She grabbed the check.

Mary blushed but gently pried the bill out of Lauren’s hand.

“I was the one who invited you out. Let me pay.”

Lauren winked, “It’s my turn next time.”

Mary was so excited that there would be a next time, she could barely contain it.

Mary paid the bill and they went outside the restaurant. 

Neither was sure what to do next. Were they going to go back to Mary’s for coffee and a tour of the bird condos? Or were they going to say their goodbyes here?

Mary pulled out her phone and opened the Uber app. 

Lauren stood in front of her, not sure if she should order her own Uber or join Mary in hers. 

“Coffee?” Mary asked quietly, suddenly shy. 

Lauren smiled, “That sounds good.”

Mary ordered the Uber and they waited patiently for it to arrive. Lauren reached out and held Mary’s hand. Mary smiled at her.

It was different holding a woman’s hand. Lauren’s hand was soft and Mary assumed she put lotion on every day. It was comforting and exactly what Mary needed at the moment. It reminded her that she was doing okay.

The Uber arrived and they checked the license plate to make sure it matched with the app’s before getting in. Mary took notice that Lauren only let go of her hand to buckle her seatbelt. The car sped off in the direction of Mary’s apartment.

They thanked the Uber driver once they arrived and got out. Mary became nervous as they stopped outside Mary’s door. She cleaned her apartment on a regular basis, but what if it was still too messy for Lauren? What if it smelled too much like bird? Mary took a deep breath and unlocked her door, letting Lauren inside and turning the light on.

Lauren spotted the condos right away. Well, the five that were in the living room. Mary’s bedroom door was shut so the condo there wasn’t visible. 

“Wow! These are amazing,” remarked Lauren, “they have so much space!”

Mary smiled, “They like the space, plus I let them out of the condos when I’m home.”

“I bet they love that,” said Lauren. 

“They do,” Mary replies. She put the kettle on as Lauren wandered about the room inspecting each condo. She didn’t need Mary to tell her which bird was which because they each had a specially engraved name plaque on their condos. 

“Where’s Edgar?” Asked Lauren once she’d done a little roll call in her head. 

Mary smiled at the fact that Lauren had remembered her bird’s name. 

“He’s,” Mary gestured, “in there.”

“What’s in there?” Lauren asked. 

“My bedroom,” said Mary, suddenly shy. 

“Can I see?”

Mary shrugged, then nodded. 

Mary opened her bedroom door and frowned a little as she remembered that she had some clothes lying on the floor of her bedroom. Edgar was in the corner of the room and immediately began talking when the door opened.

“Hi, hi.” He repeated and bobbed his head, almost like he was nodding at Lauren.

“Hi,” Lauren greeted back. She turned to Mary. “Do you keep him here because he’s the noisiest?”

Mary smiled again, hearing Lauren talk about her birds like she’s known about them forever.

“Yes. It’s easier,” She explained and Lauren nodded.

“Your room is so clean. Good thing you didn’t come to mine. It’s a disaster,” Lauren chuckled nervously.

Mary wondered if that comment meant they were bound to end the date in one bedroom or the other. She sat down on the bed. It wasn’t an invitation to Lauren, she just needed to sit. 

Lauren was examining Edgar’s condo when she turned around and saw Mary sitting on the bed. So Mary wanted to end the date that way? She wasn’t a sex on the first date kind of girl, but she was too nervous to tell Mary that, so she sat down on the bed. 

Mary looked anxiously at Lauren, were they about to do it? Lauren looked kind of like she was about to kiss her. 

Mary gazed at Lauren’s lips. She certainly wouldn’t mind kissing her. Her lips looked so soft and inviting right now. She leaned in closer. 

They both leaned in until their noses almost touched. And then they were kissing. It started softly at first. Mary was amazed at how wonderful and normal it felt to kiss another woman. As with everything Mary did, she got passionate very quickly and deepened the kiss. 

They kissed for a few minutes at the same level. Mary’s intention wasn’t sex, but if it happened, it happened. Lauren on the other hand, really wanted to just kiss for tonight. She figured she should break the kiss and tell Mary before Mary got the wrong idea.

She leaned backwards a little and broke the kiss. “Um, I don’t want to go further tonight.”

Lauren said it in a very awkward way and it made Mary feel a little embarrassed and insecure.

“It’s nothing against you at all. You’re amazing, but I don’t have the confidence to do that tonight and I want sex with you to be special. Not some hookup.”

Mary has been feeling a little embarrassed but felt something very nice in the pit of her stomach when Lauren mentioned that she did want sex with her at some point. 

She nodded, “I understand. I feel the same way about you. I think you’re pretty special and I don’t want to throw away our first time as some hookup in front of my bird.” 

Lauren gave a small smile, it was awkward but it was good to be honest about that. And it was even better that they were on the same page. 

They decided to leave the bedroom to avoid any possible chance of temptation and they went into the kitchen to prepare the coffee. 

“How do you like your coffee?” Mary asked and Lauren bit her lip.

“Just with some cream in it,” She told Mary and Mary grabbed the cream and gave it to her along with a spoon. She wasn’t sure how much Lauren wanted and didn’t want to mess it up. Lauren added some to her coffee and stirred it around with her spoon to mix it in.

She took a sip. “This is really good coffee.”

Mary beamed. She was glad that she hadn’t messed it up. Otherwise there might be no second date. Or maybe she was putting too much on the cup of coffee. She wasn’t sure. 

They both sat down in the living room with their cups of coffee. They sat down beside each other and their thighs touched. Mary smiled at the connection even though she knew nothing physical was happening tonight. 

“I’m sorry about earlier.” Lauren bit her lip. “I hope I didn't ruin anything.”

Mary was a little surprised because she was so worried about ruining the date herself, she didn’t realize Lauren was worried about the same thing.

“It’s fine,” said Mary, “I was actually worrying about the same thing.”

“Well, aren’t we just too anxious peas in a pod?” Laughed Lauren. 

Mary laughed in response, “I guess we are.”

“I just get nervous a lot when socializing,” Lauren explains and looks at her coffee.

Mary squeezes her hand gently. “It’s okay.”

Lauren grins and Mary gives her a grin of her own, which makes Lauren smile just as big.

They finish their coffee with a lighter conversation, making each other laugh. 

Eventually Charlie makes a crow sound like a rooster (a trick that Mary regretted teaching him) and they realised that the sun was coming up. 

“Wow,” said Lauren, “have we really been talking all night?” 

“I guess we have,” remarked Mary. 

“I suppose I’d better get home so you can get ready for work,” said Lauren. 

“I suppose so,” agreed Mary mournfully. 

Lauren offered a supportive grin, “Is it too early to ask if you want to go on another date tonight?”

Mary smiled back, “I think if you asked, I’d definitely say yes.”

“Then it’s a date,” smiled Lauren. 


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary deals with harassment at work.

Mary waited patiently outside Zenotech while waiting for Lauren to pick her up. They were going on their fifth date and Mary was beyond excited. Lauren made her feel things she hadn’t felt before. She thought about her day and night, wondering what she was doing. They texted a lot too. Before Lauren, Mary didn’t use her phone very often besides for work, but now that Lauren was in the picture, she found herself wondering when Lauren was going to text her next.

The only people, or things, that knew about her relationship was her birds. They liked Lauren just as much as Mary did. Lauren brought them treats every time she came over and they were overjoyed by the action.

Lauren pulled up along the curb and Mary spotted her. Her face broke out into a grin at the sight of Lauren and she wanted nothing more than to kiss her. 

She trotted on over to Lauren’s car in her high heels. They clicked along the pavement. Lauren got out of the car and walked around to open the door for Mary. 

Mary stopped just short of Lauren, wanting desperately to throw her arms around the other woman and kiss her. She waited for Lauren to give a small confirmation by way of a nod that that was what she wanted too. 

They embraced and kissed. It was a soft kiss, but it lasted a little while. Then Mary climbed into the car and Lauren got in the driver’s side. They drove off to their date. 

Mary and Lauren held hands during the drive and they both kept stealing glances at each other. Craving each other’s company and touch. It was starting to grow into something more than just a few casual dates and both of them were very aware of that fact. 

Both women took turns choosing where to go on their dates and this time it was Lauren’s. Mary had no idea where they were going but she trusted Lauren would pick something that she would like. Lauren pulled up to a restaurant that was on the fancier side.

“This is really fancy,” Mary commented as she undid her seatbelt.

“Only the best for my girl,” Lauren grinned and went around the car to open Mary’s door for her again. Mary grinned and gave Lauren a quick kiss. Lauren never failed to make Mary feel special and it was what Mary liked the most about her.

Lauren had made reservations earlier in the day so they were quickly seated. The waiter had taken their drink orders and they ordered wine again. They both liked the drink and it was unofficially their thing. Mary had picked up from the beginning of the date that Lauren seemed nervous. It made Mary nervous herself.

Mary bounced her knee underneath the table until Lauren put her hand on her thigh to stop her. It didn’t really help with Mary’s nerves because it just made her think about a part of most relationships that they hadn’t done yet. Not that they were in a relationship, Mary reminded herself. 

Lauren seemed to notice what she’d done and took her hand off Mary’s thigh with a small “Sorry.”

Mary shrugged. She didn’t know what Lauren was so nervous about but she couldn’t deal with it much longer. 

The waiter came back with their wine and poured it into glasses for the two women. Mary has two sips to ease her nerves. Lauren did the same. 

“Is something bothering you?” Mary asked outright. She’d cracked. 

Lauren put down her wine glass. Was she ready for this?

She shook her head and began talking before she talked herself out of it.

“I really like you.” Lauren began cracking her knuckles. A habit that Mary picked up early on when they first started seeing each other. “I think we work well together and we make each other happy.”

Oh no. Was Lauren going to break up with her? This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. She didn’t know how she would deal if Lauren broke up with her. Mary really liked her.

“But I want us to be more than just whatever we are now,” Lauren explained. Mary could tell that she was really nervous. Lauren wasn’t making eye contact and if you listened closely enough, there was a slight stuttering of her words. Mary gave her a smile to let her know that she was doing great.

“I want us to be official. I want us to be each other’s,” Lauren took a deep breath. “I really want you to be my girlfriend. Will you be my girlfriend?”

Even though the speech wasn’t perfect at all, Mary loved it. For once in her life, she felt loved for everything about herself. She’d wanted to ask Lauren herself about where they stood relationship wise but this was perfect. Mary wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Yes,” She grinned widely and she was pretty sure Lauren nearly broke into tears then. It was almost as if she could _ see _the relief leaving Lauren’s body. “I would love to be.”

Mary leaned across the table, nearly spilling both of their wine glasses, to kiss Lauren on the lips. She felt Lauren smiling into her kiss. They were in a restaurant still so Mary sat back down before she got too into it, as she was apt to do. 

They both grinned at each other, too happy to speak, until the waiter interrupted them and asked if they were ready to order. 

“We’d like some more time,” laughed Lauren, “we haven’t looked at the menus yet.”

Mary giggled a little at that. 

The waiter looked annoyed but told them he’d be back in a little while once they’d made a decision.

The pair actually looked at the menu. 

“Fish or pasta?” Mary wondered aloud to herself as she perused the menu.

“We could share both?” Suggested Lauren. 

Mary’s face broke into a precious smile, she loved that idea. She nodded, “We can share.”

The waiter came back and Lauren ordered the fish and pasta for two them. 

The couple spent the rest of the evening at the restaurant laughing and giggling. They shared moments together where Lauren would take a bite of fish off Mary’s fork or Mary would laugh too hard. Anyone who looked at the couple couldn’t help but smile themselves. It was a scene where everyone wanted in life. Lauren paid the bill. The agreement was that whoever picked the date paid for the meal. Lauren drove them back to her place.

Lauren’s place was different than Mary’s. Mary’s was cluttered. Lauren’s was clean, warm, and welcoming. Lauren often said that her house was a mess, but Mary never saw that. She just saw an apartment that she wanted to spend all her time in.

Crackers chirped happily from his condo when he saw that his person had arrived home. 

Mary pulled a piece of broccoli from her pocket and slipped it between the bars of the condo. Crackers tweeted his thanks and began to pick at it while Mary and Lauren made their way to the couch. 

They sat close together and Mary wondered if that meant tonight was the night they had sex. She wasn’t quite sure if she was ready yet, but if it happened, then she knew she probably wasn’t going to stop it. Lauren turned on the television and Mary realised she’d misinterpreted the situation. Probably for the best, she wasn’t ready yet and probably Lauren wasn’t either. 

They cuddled up together and watched a documentary about Umbrella Parrots. 

Mary woke with a start at about 5:00 the next morning. They’d fallen asleep! She was going to be late for work. She reluctantly took her head off Lauren’s boobs, which had unintentionally become her pillow that night and shook her girlfriend awake. 

“What’s going on?” Lauren mumbled. 

“I’m late for work!” Mary explained, running around Lauren’s apartment, trying to gather all her belongings.

“Okay, okay,” Lauren said in a soft voice. “We’ve got this. I’ll make you a quick breakfast while you grab your things.”

Mary looked relieved at her girlfriend’s offer and started putting things in her purse while Lauren made them oatmeal. Mary appreciated the gesture and shoved it down her throat while pulling her phone out.

“I gotta call an Uber,” She explained. “I need to go back to my apartment-”

Lauren didn’t let her finish. She kissed Mary softly on the lips to prevent her from creating more of a panic. “Don’t be silly. I’ll drive you to work. Don’t you still have clothes from the other night you stayed here?”

Mary nodded, glad that Lauren reminded her of that. She would have preferred to have clean clothes but she wanted to get to work early to finish a few things before the office came to life.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Lauren drove her to work and dropped her off at the door. They shared a quick goodbye kiss, slightly more passionate than the hello kiss they’d shared the previous day. Then Mary hurried out of the car and got through security. She pressed the button the go up in the elevator to the floor that her office was on. As the waited for the elevator she noticed two people standing beside her. She didn’t think anything of it. Lots of people used this elevator. 

A ping sounded and the doors opened. She stepped in and so did the other two people. She saw as she got in that they were two men in her office. Tim and Drew. She only knew then because they’d been pulled into her office a few times because of sexual harassment. But, with them being men, it was hard for her to get them fired. They’d both been suspended for extended periods of time though. That was the best she could do. 

She wasn’t going to let that get her down today though. She had a girlfriend now. 

The elevator door shut. 

“Hey Mary,” said Tim, “didn’t know you batted for that team?”

Mary was confused, she wasn’t in the company’s softball team. 

“Yeah,” added Drew, “who knew straight laced Mary wasn’t quite so straight?!”

Mary flushed and felt her stomach drop. People knew? 

It wasn’t that she intended to be in the closet. But work was work, relationships weren’t a part of that. It didn’t need to be discussed. And yet, here she was. 

“It’s none of your business and certainly not something you should be discussing in the workplace,” said Mary with a huff. She lifted her briefcase and hugged it close to her for comfort. 

They reached their floor and stepped out of the elevator. Tim and Drew followed her. Why wouldn’t they leave her alone? 

“Hey, is she your girlfriend or something?” Tim asked. 

Mary ignored them. She’d file a complaint against them as soon as she got to her office. This kind of behaviour was unacceptable. 

“She dropped you off this morning,” pointed out Drew. “Did you two have _ fun _ last night?”

Mary flushed. This was definitely going too much into her personal life. 

“Can we watc-“

Mary spun around, “Shut your mouth now, Buster,” she huffed, she turned to Drew, “and you too.”

She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. 

“Are you okay, Mary?” It was Meghan. 

Mary was happy that someone else was with her now, even if it was Meghan. If Meghan, or anyone else, was with her, they would stop harassing her. She rubbed her hand against her face, stressed about the situation. Everyone knew Meghan had a voice and so when Tim and Drew realized who was by Mary, they scattered away.

“They were just...harassing like usual,” Mary huffed.

“Because you have a girlfriend?” Meghan asked.

How did Meghan know that too? Did everyone in the office know?

“You weren’t exactly subtle about it,” Meghan chuckled. “Anyways, if you want them out of the office by tomorrow, let me know. Clay owes me a favor.” She winks at Mary and walks away, leaving Mary alone.

Mary made her way into her office. She sat down at her desk and willed herself not to cry. Work had only just started. She still needed to get through the day. She took a few shaky breaths in an attempt to ground herself. One hot tear still escaped from her eye and she wiped it away quickly. Was this the way she was going to be treated from now on? Was everyone like Tim and Drew or were more people like Meghan? She didn’t know. 

She thought about her birds for a while to calm herself. Once she was calm she started to write Tim and Drew up for harassment. She briefly considered Meghan’s offer of getting the men fired and wondered if she should take her up on that. 

She chose not to leave her office until the end of the work day. 

As the day drew to a close, she gave Lauren a call. 

“Hello, can you pick me up from work tonight?” Mary asked. 

“Of course, you want to go out somewhere?” Lauren asked. 

“No,” Mary shook her head even though Lauren couldn’t see that, “let’s go to your place. I just need to be with you.”

“Okay,” said Lauren, “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” Mary answered, she didn’t want Lauren to worry about her. 

“Okay, you finish at six, right?” Lauren doubles checked. 

“Yes,” Mary confirmed. 

“All right, I’ll see you then,” said Lauren. 

They said their goodbyes and hung up. 

Lauren was five minutes early to pick up Mary. Which meant that Mary could walk right out of the office without having to wait around. 

Luckily, no one else had mentioned anything to her about her girlfriend. When she spotted Lauren’s car, she climbed in quickly, wanting to get out of there as fast as she could. Lauren’s face was full of worry, making Mary wonder if she didn’t lie as good as she thought she did.

“What’s wrong?” Lauren put the car in drive and drove off towards her apartment.

Mary waved her off. “Just a bad day.”

Unfortunately for Mary, Lauren didn’t buy that. 

“You’re upset though. What happened?” She pushed.

“Just a bad day,” Mary reiterated, “lot of sexual harassment complaints.” 

“In an office full of nerds?” Lauren asked, a little surprised. 

Mary chuckled, “They may not be the most popular people, but I’d wager they’re amongst the horniest. I usually get at least one complaint a day.”

“Wow,” said Lauren. 

Mary noticed that she wasn’t so upset anymore, now that she was in the company of Lauren. She smiled at her a little. 

“So you had a lot of sexual harassment complaints. What else?” 

Mary looked shocked. Why had Lauren been thinking there was more? Was she that bad of a liar? She didn’t think so.

“That was it. It was just really stressful,” Mary insisted.

“Okay,” Lauren agreed. “But on our second date, you mentioned that it seemed like all you do is write people up because of that. What makes today different?”

Mary thought for a moment, “It’s just frustrating because two of the people I had to write up are frequent offenders and I just can’t get them fired.” She felt proud of that answer. It was almost the truth and maybe Lauren would accept that. 

Lauren didn’t know if she believed Mary all the way, but she decided to drop the subject for now. They pulled up to Lauren’s apartment complex and Lauren noticed that Mary used a little more force than necessary to shut the car door.

“Want me to make you dinner?” Lauren suggested. Mary agreed and sat down on Lauren’s couch, staring into space. Maybe she should have been more careful when kissing Lauren the night before. She was so caught up in the moment that she had forgotten that not everyone would just let an action like that slide.

Mary let out another huff, gaining the attention of Lauren, who was focused on making spaghetti. 

“You sure you’re okay?” Lauren asked.

Mary nodded and shrugged. 

Lauren turned off the stove elements that she was using and walked over to the couch. She started massaging Mary’s shoulders, trying to help the woman relax. Mary moaned a little and relaxed into the touch of her girlfriend’s fingers. 

Lauren kept massaging Mary’s shoulders when she felt her beginning to relax and she knew she was helping. 

“Those harassment comments were directed towards me,” Mary admits under her breath.

Lauren thought her heart broke in two at that confession. She sits next to Mary who is looking at the ground.

“Honey, why didn't you tell me that?” Lauren rubbed Mary’s back soothingly.

“I just didn't think it was important,” Mary sighed.

Lauren gave her a harsh look. “If someone told you that, what would you say?”

“That it is important?”

“Take your own advice.” Lauren pulled Mary to her chest and kisses her head.

Mary sighed, “You’re right. I know you are.” 

“It’s okay,” said Lauren with another kiss to Mary’s head, “it’s different when it’s you. But you do know the right thing to do.”

Mary nodded. She looked up so the next kiss to her head landed on her lips. She put her hands on either side of Lauren’s face and kissed her for a little longer, “Thank you.”

Lauren smiled, “Are you okay then?”

“I will be,” Mary assured her. 

Lauren’s arms were still wrapped around Mary. She gave Mary a little squeeze and grabbed a blanket to wrap around them. They situated themselves on the couch with Mary being the little spoon. She felt better, but a few cuddles and kisses wouldn’t hurt. Lauren kissed the top of her head again and grinned when she saw Mary’s small smile.

Mary wriggled closer to Lauren and kissed her arm. Lauren kisses her shoulder and pulled her tighter into the cuddle. 

When she was in Lauren’s arms, Mary felt like everything was going to be all right.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim and Drew apologize to Mary

The next morning Lauren dropped her off at work in the rain, telling her to have a good day. Mary said she would try her best but no promises. She hurried inside out of the rain and quickly walked to her desk, not wanting to deal with Tim and Drew. She groaned when she saw them at her cubicle. Tim was spinning around in her chair and Drew was blowing bubbles in his coffee.

Mary wondered if maybe she should leave and come back, maybe they’d get bored and go. But then they saw her. 

“Mary!” Tim exclaimed. He spoke confidently, but his body language said otherwise. 

Mary looked suspicious. She did not want to deal with them today, especially since they harassed her yesterday. But she had a feeling they wouldn't leave her alone until they needed to say whatever it was they needed to say.

“Yes?” Mary set her stuff down on her desk.

Both men looked a little embarrassed and Mary looked at them curiously, wondering what they had to say. 

“Meghan spoke to us about our behaviour yesterday,” mumbled Drew, sounding very much like her was reciting something he’d been told to say. 

“We’re sorry for our actions,” Tim said as well.

Mary was confused. Were they actually apologising to her? ...well, that was...nice of them. She supposed. 

“It was wrong of us to make comments about your sexuality,” added Drew.

“Yeah, that was not appropriate for the workplace,” said Tim. Drew nudged him, “or anywhere.” 

Tim whispered to him, “I thought she’d like that, she likes the workplace.”    
  
Drew rolled his eyes. They both looked at her expectantly. 

Mary blinked. Was she supposed to forgive them? They’d apologized, so everything must be fine now, right? She nodded, “Ah, it’s okay.” 

The two men nodded and flew out of the cubicle. 

May sat down in her recently vacated chair and sighed. She still had to write them up for harassment, it was her job. But at least they’d apologized. 

By the end of the work day, Mary had convinced herself that everything was okay. 

Lauren had to pick up Mary because she had ditched her car a few days back and didn't want to spend a fortune on an Uber ride. At exactly five o’clock, Lauren pulled up alongside the curb, waiting for Mary to get in. Mary got in and they exchanged a kiss before Lauren drove off.

“How was your day?” Lauren asked.

“It was good. The guys apologized for their actions,” Mary told her.

“Oh?” Lauren asked. 

Mary nodded, she explained the entire exchange almost word perfect for Lauren. 

Lauren looked at her, “That sounds like someone told them what to say, honey. I don’t think they were being sincere.” 

Mary paused, “I don’t know. I think they meant it.”

“But did they?” Lauren asked. She was just looking out for Mary, but she wasn’t being very sensitive.

“Yes?” Mary said, losing confidence. She started to feel like she might cry. 

“That doesn't sound like a yes,” Lauren argued.

“It is a yes,” Mary said and looked down at her lap. “Meghan just told them what to say but they said it.”

“No,” Lauren shook her head. “They were saying what Meghan wanted them to say.”

“I think they were being sincere,” Mary talked to her lap.

“Mary!” Lauren accidentally snapped, “You need to get your head out of the clouds, the world is a bad place and some people just aren’t sincere about that kind of thing. They haven’t changed. They’re just apologizing because they were told to.” 

Mary felt a tear run down her cheek. She silently wiped it away and hoped that Lauren hadn’t noticed. Her throat felt like it had closed up and she didn’t trust her voice, so she just nodded. 

“God, you’re so naive sometimes,” Lauren continued. She hadn’t noticed that Mary had started crying. “You’re gonna have to learn about the world sooner or later or you’re gonna get yourself in deep trouble.”

Mary couldn’t help but let a few more tears slip down her cheeks. Was she really that gullible? Had Tim and Drew only said that because they were asked to? She thought she was being sincerely apologized to, but now she didn't know. And she definitely didn't appreciate Lauren’s comments.

Lauren finally looked at her as she pulled the car into a parking space, “Shit, are you crying?” 

Mary shook her head, even though it was obvious that she was crying. She swiped at the tears with her hand, trying to hide them. 

“Mary,” said Lauren. 

Mary pursed her lips, “I think I need some space,” she choked out. 

Lauren hesitated before nodding, “Yeah, okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

“Well you did!” Mary spat out, she was getting mad. Lauren was her girlfriend, she was supposed to help her, not hurt her. 

“I said I was sorry!” Lauren said, she didn’t realize her voice was raising.

“Well you didn't have to be so rude!” Mary said, just as loud.

“Cuz you’re gullible, Mary!”

Ouch, that hurt. Mary really didn't think she was gullible. What was wrong with accepting an apology? She didn't get it.

“Okay fine,” huffed Lauren, “You want space? You can have it. Get out.” 

Mary grabbed her briefcase and got out of the car, she was properly crying now. She slammed the door and Lauren drove off immediately. 

Mary hurried to her apartment as fast as she could. She needed the comfort of her birds more than anything. 

Her birds tweeted their hellos and she wiped her tears, going over to Charlie’s cage and petting him softly.

“I messed up, Charlie,” she murmured softly to him. 

Charlie cooed back. 

“I’m afraid she’s going to break up with me,” Mary cried. She sobbed softly at the thought. Her heart was breaking. She was so afraid. They’d barely even made their relationship official and it was already about to end. That was so unfair. She loved Lauren so much already. 

“Maybe I’m just not meant to have someone special in my life,” She sniffled. Charlie started humming something and Mary wondered if that was his way to calm her down. Charlie pecked at the cage door so Mary opened it. He walked onto her outstretched finger. She held him close to her face and he fluffed his soft feathers against her while he continued to hum to her. Mary felt like she couldn’t be consoled, but she appreciated Charlie’s effort to comfort her. She sobbed quietly and longed for yesterday when everything had been okay. 

* * *

Lauren knew she messed up. She knew it was her that made Mary cry and she felt awful about it. She drove home as quickly as possible because she felt her own tears forming in her eyes and didn’t want to risk getting in an accident.

She locked her car up and ran inside to where her own bird greeted her. She couldn’t focus on that though. All she could think about was how rude she was to Mary. It wasn’t fair to Mary who just had a kind heart.

Lauren sat on her couch and brought her legs up to her chest and buried her face in her arms. Her breathing got heavier and the room got hotter and she knew she was on the verge of an anxiety attack but she couldn’t stop it. She cried loudly as her chest felt heavy and struggled to breathe through it.

She could hear her breaths getting raspier and she tried to breath. She could feel herself getting light headed and knew she really had to stop this before it got uncontrollable. Except it was already too late. She was having an anxiety attack.

Her heart was beating fast and she knew that she would have to ride it out and use her coping skills that she had learned in therapy a few years back. She focused on Crackers who started singing the Jaws theme song. He was a special bird who was all red and had green and blue wings. She got him a few years back at the pet store when she was lonely and had made the right decision. She was never lonely now that she had Crackers. But it seemed like without Mary, she was even more lonely than before.

Lauren eventually got herself to calm down but the heaviness in her chest never went away and she still felt hot. She fed Crackers his dinner and ate her own dinner silently before having an early night.

The time kept passing and Mary found that she was feeling like a piece of her was missing. She felt like her life was falling apart. It was silly. She had a job that she absolutely loved, she had her family of birds, everything was the same as it had always been. But this one thing, this new and wonderful thing was suddenly missing. It felt like Lauren had always been there. She couldn’t deal with the feeling of missing her. 

But she had to.


End file.
